LONG STORY SHORT

-haha just a preface...this title is a little hillarious..because my poem isn't any shorter!

I watch tear drops
Make their design
On sheets of paper
That spoke every truth
And every whisper
Of where I stand
With you.
That you will never see
They're the shadow of a voiceless
The way that you see me.
But at least I'd know
I meant it
Even for just that moment
It counted for something
With substance.
Never once turning away
Never once slipping through my fingers
A touch that lasted minutes
Would linger
On my skin for hours
Wishing you would see
Wishing you would stay
Just to be with me.
Long story short
I loved you.
At least I came real close
But at arms length
You had to have me
Pick that route without a choice
I bit down on my lips
To stop words from escaping
And meeting you half way
That mess it would make
Just to say...
Any of it.
I'd laugh with you
Not at you
A joke at my expence
But every time you'd hold me
I belonged there.
If that makes any sense.
I didn't want a reminder
I didn't want you to see
That you made me smile
That with you
There was a melody
In my head.
When I woke up.
You can always read my mind
But not my heart
I never thought it'd matter
Not knowing the invisible thoughts.
But with your bold curiosity
Don't bother.
I'd lie if you asked me.

The things NOT to do

So...There have been some hillarious incidents in the past few weeks that have made me learn a few things.
1. Do not try to re-tell a whole bit from a comedian's act.
This does not go as well. Because a) it's probably some sort of stealing b) it may or may not be funnier live and done by the actual comedian c) you're probably not as funny
I tried repeating a joke I heard from Brian Regan who I saw with my family a few days ago. There was a joke about discovering 250,000 gorillas! haha! And to me-that is gold already. When I tried telling Scotty and Troy about this outragious joke there was some exchange of glances between the two of them that posed the question: uh...is she really trying to do this right now? I told the same joke to Kathy explaining my not understanding how people could not think this was so funny. Thanks Kath for laughing..

2. Pick up lines that do NOT work
I was sitting in downtown SLC with Kathy and some other friends when I was approached and creepily asked in my ear: "Are you real?" which I was like uh..what the H kind of question is that and a little snottily replied "uh...yeah.."
"Well you're hot." he walked away. Haha I was left confused and creeped out. LAME

3. Poison Oak and Bleach
Now..already I'm sure to most who read this will know right away this is real bad idea. So Scotty got home from a 2 month fire excursion and he brought poison oak home with him YAY! He hated it so much. So by day 2 he decided he'd had enough. "Someone told me the only way to get rid of poison oak is to put scrub your skin with bleach." I laughed, because really? But I could tell he was set on the task and went into his bathtub to begin the task as I waited for his/our friend Jordan to get to the house. Suddenly I hear.."Whoever told me this works didn't tell me it hurt like a Bi***!" hahaha I couldn't help it I was laughing hysterically. First..I am sucker for humerously placed swears haha and again really?

American Idol-To be or not to be

Oh the American Idol scene.. where there are big dreams and lots of people. In fact, there was about 11,000 people in SLC this year waiting in line for a chance at stardom, and guess who was in that line??? ME! hahaha. Ssssure, I sing. And I like to incorporate singing into my every day, but I never really fed my dream at becoming a singer. I've been encouraged by some people about trying out. "You should try out for American Idol" they would say..ahem mostly my dad, but nonetheless. I decided that I would give it a shot. I wouldn't bank on anything, but I would do it just for the heck of it. My brother said that he would try out with me! It would be a really long day, but at least it would be funny. A couple days before the try out date my brother says: I really don't want to do this. LAME! So I tell this boy nicknamed Florida Sunshine to try out with me. He was a musician type, and he agreed. I definitely did not want to spend the whole day in a humungous line by myself. I decided on the song I would sing the night before going, and practised it a few times through, but we also had to learn a couple "crowd songs" I believe these to be songs that the crowd sings altogether when the camera happens upon them. I did not bother learning either of these. So I wake up at 3:15 in the morning to be in line at the Enery Solutions Arena by 5:00 am. plus pick up Florida. It was very weird. As we walked toward the line I wondered what time some of these girls got up to get ready, because it was a radical prom scene. The girl standing in line in front of me could have possibly won the award for "what are you thinking?" She wore her heals, naturally, because it matched her outfit just right-a shirt that barely covered anything, and a skirt that didn't cover anything, but ironically she was lugging around a suitcase? I think it may have contained her clothes? I spent some time laughing to myself. 1) for being there at all 2) the people that surrounded me as they sang to themselves 3) at the mom and dad support groups 4) how at 5 in the morning people were screaming at the camera everytiime it passed. I was trying to make the best of the situation by having converstations with Florida, afterall, thats why I wanted him there..company. So 20 minutes go by with my trying to make conversation when he says to me: " You know...I need you to give me half hour-an hour-and just not say anything." Oh I see. haha. ok.. So I sat there, in a line I wasn't excited to be in with Debbie Downer and after a couple hours when the sun was setting I decided this dream was not for me.